The Craw

Cornelius: Who is this guy?

Here’s some cool conclusions I’ve come to while researching Cornelius the Centurion in Acts 10:

1. Cornelius was a Centurion in the "Italian Cohort" in Caesarea, Caesar's city.
2. There was one Legion stationed in Judea prior to the Jewish War, the Legio X or "Fretensis" which was originally raised by Julius Caesar and was his personal legion. They later are the legion that conquers Masada.
3. The Legio X was headquartered at Caesarea and the Italian Cohort was there according to Acts 10.
4. The cohorts of Legio X were scattered throughout Judea in various garrisons.
5. Legio X was levied primarily from local (Syrian) conscripts except, apparently, the Italian Cohort which was likely the double-sized first cohort (the storm troopers of a legion).
6. Pilate lived at Caesarea most of the year but went to Jerusalem with a major show of force during the feasts and likely would have taken the double-sized Italian Cohort (his best, closest, and most loyal troops) with him the tense Passover of Jesus' death.
7. There were 6 centuries, thus, 6 centurions in a cohort like the Italian Cohort. There is a 1 in 6 chance that Cornelius is the Centurion at the cross and, if not, he was likely in the Antonia fortress and may have been the commanding centurion of the Italian Cohort. 

The point, this is a guy is very intimately connected with the events Peter preaches to him in Acts 10 and is a Centurion of Centurions. He's a member of the most Roman cohort of the most Roman (and Caesarean) legion in the empire which is stationed in Caesar's city. Jesus is Kurios, not Caesar.

Impatient Eschatology

From the recent Isaacson biography on Steve Jobs:

In July 1968 “Life” magazine published a shocking cover showing a pair of starving children in Biafra. Jobs took it to Sunday school and confronted the church’s pastor. “If I raise my finger, will God know which one I’m going to raise even before I do it?

The pastor answered, “Yes, God knows everything.”

Jobs then pulled out the “Life” cover and asked, “Well, does God know about this and what’s going to happen to those children?

“Steve, I know you don’t understand, but yes, God knows about that.”

Jobs announced that he didn’t want to have anything to do with worshipping such a God, and he never went back to church.

Of course, the most important question was never asked, "What do the starving Biafrans think?" The answer is what happened in the following 4 decades as that region became ground zero for some of the greatest mass conversions to the Christian Faith in the midst of the greatest age of missions (late 20th Century/early 21st Century) in the history of the world.

The Gospel According to Thor

Warning: Major Spoliers! After a short hop to my local RedBox (Netflix be gone!) I scored a copy of Thor and watched it last night. The movie, in general, was a solid “B” but that’s not what has me thinking about it this morning. What has me musing is that Thor is one of the most Christian movies I’ve seen. Consider the following:

• Thor’s hammer is engraved with the ancient symbol of the Trinity (the Triquetra). I grant that it was originally a runic or Celtic symbol but it has been appropriated by the church for centuries.
• The true power of the hammer is the living Triquetra which disappears until Thor is ready to use it well.
• Thor, the god, becomes a man and comes to earth. The godman intercedes on behalf of his people (and his “bride” Natalie Portman) and gives up his life to deliver them.
• He resurrects to live for them as a wise “prince of peace” (Odin tells his son good kings bring peace to their realms).
• He returns to his heavenly realm but anticipates coming again for his bride who is longing for his return. 

This is just a quick synopsis and I’m sure there is more there but I found it interesting.

Orthodoxy

Today, as I ate my lunch at McDonald's, minding my own business, I saw a clatch of gals dressed in Sunday finery. As they were leaving, one of them approached me and began an affected conversation about my netbook. She began reaching into her bag and I said, "Watchtower?" She said, "why yes." She then proceeded to extol the wonders of being a a Jehovah's Witness. I stopped her short and let her know I was fully aware of her boring un-orthodoxy:

• Canned worship services that contain artificial question and answer discussions that end up belching out answers from their publications and singing songs with pre-recorded soundtracks.
• Adherents, decked out in their Sunday best, shambling slowly and aimlessly from house-to-house.
• A boring and predictable God who judges like we would.
• An apocalyptic future that contains men and women wearing polyester suits. 
• A Jesus who is so accessible he's not mysterious at all...he's just an angel-dude.

It all reminded me of Chesterton's words from "Orthodoxy":

To have fallen into any one of the fads from Gnosticism to Christian Science would indeed have been obvious and tame. But to have avoided them all has been one whirling adventure; and in my vision the heavenly chariot flies thundering through the ages, the dull heresies sprawling and prostrate, the wild truth reeling but erect.

Manly Music

 

Here's a nice piece of Russian sacred music. Leon Podles in his book "The Church Impotent" asserts that the only Christian communion that has remained predominately male is Eastern Orthodoxy. Part of that would seem to be reflected in and caused by their sacred music.

Shaving and American Ingenuity

I get a magnificent shave nearly every morning. Smooth, close, and comfortable. The reason is that I wet shave with a vintage double edge safety razor. The above pictured razor is my go-to razor, a late 1950's Gillette Super Speed Red Tip. Look at that beautiful piece of made-in-America ingenuity. It is heavy, solid metal, and opens and works with precision over 50 years after someone first dropped a couple of ducats on it. I picked mine up for about $10 on EBay.

Now compare this space-age masterpiece with any plasticky razor you would get today. There is no comparison. Could we even produce something like this for under $100 anymore?

If you want to find out more about this hobby/obsession check out Badger and Blade.

 
If everything is ironic, is anything ironic anymore?

or

Purposeful irony is just lame.

Traditional or...?

Here's an interesting article from the Times that juxtaposes the Crystal Cathedral and Robert Schuller and The Gathering (can you get any more cliche?) pastored by Schuller's grandson. The article presents the situation as a generational split with the older generation looking for traditional spectacle and the younger one longing for intimacy and informality. Okay.

I think this is all wrong and in an ironic way, The Gathering is merely replicating the mistakes of the Crystal Cathedral. The most important aspect should be Word and Sacrament. Next, neither church is traditional in any substantial sense of the word. In fact, they are both organizations chasing after cultural trends. The church should be a bulwark against this sort of mentality. Tradition is the meaningful (and biblically informed) appropriation of the heritage left to us by The Church through the ages.

Things to Look for in a Church

Periodically I get the question of what is important in looking for a church. Let me lay out what I believe are some essential things to look for when trying to find a church. The preaching of the Word (expository or any other way) is a given and this list is in no particular order:

Community. A church should have a friendly atmosphere which is more than skin deep. Hospitality should be ever-present and on-going. Visitors should receive immediate and multiple offers of meals and needy members of the flock should never be without.

Sacraments: The Lord’s Supper should be offered weekly and joyfully with bread and real wine. Baptism should be taken seriously and honored by the church. A church that does not do this has not thought through the sacraments seriously enough. For example, a church that demands those baptized as infants be re-baptized is ignorant of church history. Likewise, a church that serves up grape juice and crackers instead of bread and wine is like a French restaurant that serves you a plastic pudding cup and calls it Crème brûlée.

Historical: A church should see itself in history. Creeds should be recited because they teach us and remind us that we are a church in God’s long continuum of the faith. There is orthodoxy long before us and there will be orthodoxy long after us. Our generation is in the midst of history and is not the apex of history. Every cult in the last two centuries (Jehovah’s Witnesses, Shakers, Mormons) have all seen themselves in apocalyptic terms: They are the last generation before the coming of Christ and it’s been an epic fail. Christian groups have done something similar with Dispensationalism. While the Dispensationalist church has been sitting on the roof waiting for the Advent of Christ, the world has carried out a twisted cultural mandate and transformed Western culture for the worse.

I may return to this list to add to it in the future.

The Wrestler (SPOILER ALERT)

Okay, so I finally watched this Academy-nominated film last night and thought it was the perfect ode to the American zeitgeist: "Wreck everyone around you, take responsibility for nothing."

Randy "The Ram" is a broken down wrestler who wrecks everything and everyone he touches. You're supposed to feel pained sympathy but the guy is a complete idiot. He's had a heart attack, not because he has broken himself down as a wrestler, but because he snorts, injects and swallows everything put in front of him. The whole film is an account of Randy's trail of destruction and trauma that I'm not sure the producer pondered:

1. His wife/girlfriend is non-existent and perhaps dead (he has a daughter).

2. His daughter is apparently a lesbian (with unstated hatred for men b/c of him).

3. He ruins his daughter's last gasp at a relationship with him because, at the age 50+ he's snorting coke and making a booty call.

4. He gets angry when a fan recognizes him at the deli counter so Randy: (a) smashes his hand into the meat-slicer in front of a bunch of regular folk (b) starts screaming obscenities while flinging blood around and smearing it on his face (c) assaults numerous people (including children) (d) all while kicking and punching his way out of the store.

5. Wrestles an old friend (Ayatollah/Bob) who tries to help him in the middle of the match (the Ram's having a coronary). Randy presumably has a heart attack and dies while diving onto and likely traumatizing Bob forever.

6. Kills himself before his potential new girlfriend.

7. Leaves behind a stinky old trailer that has to be cleaned and hauled away.

Yes, a lovely film about a rotten chap who made sure his rotten life had maximum destructive effect on everyone around him, stranger and friend. Two thumbs down.

Sad, but so true.

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

Wow...

...what a great shave! Just used Taylor of Old Bond Street's (TOBS) Lavender shave cream and I got an amazing double-edge razor wet shave. So, if you like a smooth BBS (Baby's Bottom Shave) try out some TOBS. It's cheap too at $11 a jar.

The Church IS for the Kids

Here are some thoughts on children in the worship service. At the church I pastor, we have a whole bunch of kids. Kids are kids. Sometimes they do silly things and sometimes they need to be corrected. But as we treat them like believers (little believers, of course) a funny thing happens; they love coming to church and they worship vigorously. They also feel they are part of The Church with all of its responsibilities and privileges (we don’t have “children’s church” and the kids are full participants). It has also been my pleasure to serve a congregation where the kids are much more respectful to adults, officers of the church, and to the church as a cultus.

Sadly, most of my Christian experience has been in congregations where the kids are a confusing appendage that everyone wished would somehow transform into ideal adult Christians via photosynthesis. Unfortunately, most of these kids leave the church when they reach adulthood.

So, let’s stop putting stumbling blocks in their way and as King Jesus says, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 19:14)

Theologosmog

When you have to smog up your writing with repetitive inside verbiage, you've probably run out of important things to say:

In Acts 2, the narrative recounting of Pentecost identifies the distinctive character of an eschatological (end-time) community created by the exalted Jesus through the Spirit's power. In addition, Peter's pentecostal proclamation engenders a fresh call to embodied memory and hope - through the story of Jesus and the witness of Israel's Scripture - in communal practices of resurrection. 

Joel B. Green & Michael Pasquarello III, Narrative Reading, Narrative Preaching, 2003, p. 71.

Say what?

Are Clergy Shirts Protestant?

The wearing of a clergy collared shirt is something most Evangelical Protestants associate with the Roman Catholic Church. But where did the clergy collared shirt originate from?

Wikipedia says the clergy collar was invented by Rev. Dr. Donald McLeod (note the citation is from the Glasgow Herald from 1894). Also, the date of 1827 given for the invention of the detachable collar is not a reference to detachable clergy collars but simply detachable collar shirts that everyone wore (see here).

Now notice who is THE Rev. Dr. Donald McLeod in Glasgow during the latter half of the 19th Century (he's wearing a band collared clergy shirt in the photo). Dr. McLeod is noted for serving as moderator of the General Assembly of The Kirk (see 1895) and delivering a series of lectures entitled: "The Doctrine and Validity of the Ministry and Sacrament of the National Church of Scotland."

So, Dr. McLeod, the inventor of the clergy shirt, or what one rather ignorant Reformed professor called "funny clericals", was a blooming Presbyterian!