In a recent article on the lack of good marriageable men, Kay S. Hymowitz says of the overgrown teenagers that pass for men today:
Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man.
So, what happens in a scenario where a child is raised by a single mother? Let's look at how this works out:
- Single moms, in general, do poorly economically for a variety of reasons.
- I admit this is partially anecdotal but it would seem that a single mother who is having a child because she can't find a male partner is having a child as a substitute for a healthy relationship with an adult. Any family counselor worth their salt will tell couples they need focus on their relationship first before they deal with their children. A spouse is a life partner (proximity and intimacy-wise) and a child is not. I have observed single parent homes for many years and often the parent cannot let the child go when they reach adulthood. This is particularly pronounced when the parent is a woman and the child is a man.
- Raising children without a father (boys in particular) is destructive in a variety of ways including criminal behavior and economic success.
- The obvious conclusion that such a child would draw is that fathers are superfluous. Mom, after all, didn't need a husband.
So, rather than stepping off into a brave new world, we ought to be humble enough to listen to the wisdom of the generations that came before us. The optimal and time-tested model for bringing children into the world is an environment that has both a mother and father in a stable relationship. This has major implications for other untested models for parental formation that are currently being pushed forward.
We need to fix men before we try something else. This "fix" is another story for another day.